Friday, 26 October 2012
Sunday, 8 April 2012
Commercialisation of people
Today men and women can easily segregate the beautiful women from the ugly ones. Ask an Indian man,his definition of a pretty woman and he will list qualities like straight long hair, fair,slender body with right curves. Now anyone which fails to fall in this category is ugly and undesirable.
The whole feeling of being unwanted and fear of being unwanted is a huge burden. Every plus size woman would be rejected without even an attempt to know her unless she starves herself to become skinny. Every woman with bad clothing sense will be shunned down by the fellow women as not classy. Every woman with a dark skin would compel herself to try fairness creams hoping to go fair.A woman won't go out without putting her make up.
There is nothing wrong in making yourself beautiful or looking pretty.But lets us think why are we doing this? Just because we fear criticisms of being out of fashion,ugly or being rejected. 90% of women are unhappy with their bodies. And who is responsible in making us believe this? Don't you think that fairness commercial on television? Those perfect barbie dolls we played as kids.Those super models walking down the ramp.Those plastic celebrity beauties full of silicon.
This commercialization is not new.Its always been there.Right from women wearing corsets in old England to women becoming anorexic today.Her insecurities will be exploited and she will be weakened. And men enjoy this. Men would tell their woman to be like the girl in commercial,ask her to loose extra pounds or gain,ask her to dress as he pleases. She is nothing but a sex object who needs to be presentable every time to be loved.And the woman would follow it because she doesn't want to be rejected.
Marketing agencies make money of such insecurities. But its not just restricted to women today.Recently they have even targeted men. They challenge their masculinity by posing questions on why do they use women's fairness cream or soap? The on-screen heroes may suck at acting skills or showcase no character but must have a six pack abdomen and sculpted body. How long are we going to sustain this? How long are we going to feel depressed because of being so called "imperfect"? Isn't it time that we fight back? Isn't it the time we stop being shallow and prejudiced about people? Marketing agencies are feasting on our insecurities. Its time we fight back! Its time stop buying such products and be proud of how and who we are. And no one but we can stop this! And we have to stop this right NOW!
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Do's and Dont's for guys going on a date
Well, are you one of those guys who went out with the perfect woman and thought everything was going well but there was no second date? or one of those who are ready to go on a date this weekend? If yes then you should probably read this.
-Asking out
There are no rules on how you ask a girl out. If you are less confident talking in person,a simple text/ a phone call would do.
Do not get mad on the girl if she says she has plans.She is probably telling the truth.But if she says it twice,back off, she is not interested to go out.She will get mad on you,if you keep on insisting.That is called being desperate.
Do not blame her that you have to plan dates every time. Generally girls do not ask out. So do it!!
-Choosing the place
Don't ask her to choose place. You asked her out, you have to decide where to take her. No girl likes to go with a confused man with no plans.
If you take her to a familiar place where she has been 1000 times you are doing nothing innovative about it.
Don't plan really romantic dates if its a casual friendship. This means you cannot bring a music band, put a ring in her drink or ask her to be the mother of your children.You will spook her off.
Don't take her to a roadside chaatwala even if he is the best in town. Choose a place with a good ambiance, less crowd, moderately costly(too much lavish looks like you are trying to show off and too less looks like you have no choice or class).
Don't say the place is a surprise, she will probably carry a pepper spray in that case. If you choose a really familiar place she probably has been there nothing special for her.If you still want to keep the place unknown tell her which area in town.
Don't take her to you home.She is not your study buddy.
If you are quite new to each other and you want to keep conversation short then a movie would do. Ask her if she wants to see XYZ movie. If she takes the name of movie ABC instead of XYZ say yes.Don't fight!The movie is not important here.Don't forget your goal.
If you want to talk,an elegant restaurant would do where waiters don't keep on coming for an order every moment.
Don't choose too crowded or too deserted place. The girl would be more distracted by the surrounding than even listen to you.
Ask her if she is a vegetarian or not and choose the place appropriately.Even if she drinks don't take her to a place where people drink. You don't want to take care of a drunken woman nor do you want to get drunk neither do you want to be a part of a drunken brawl.
-Taking time
After you decide the venue ,you decide the time. Afternoon is the worst time. Never choose it.No one wants to sweat under the sun with you. Don't ask on dinner at first if you do not share that comfort level.Go for lunch or breakfast.
If a woman says 5.00 assume she could get half an hour late. Don't get mad if she gets late.Its the way women are designed.
Do not expect her to remind you of the date.But confirm it hours before the date.You probably don't want to get stood up just because she forgot about you.
-Offering a lift
Decide on a common pick up spot near her house not near yours.
Even if she has a vehicle offer to pick her up.Don't insist if she says no. Don't offer a lift if you travel by public transport or cycle.
-Dressing up
Footwear: Do not wear chappals,sandals,sport shoes or your bathroom slippers if its a restaurant/movie. Sincerely wear black leather(polished) shoes.If its raining use your head and skip the leather part.Mostly dress for the place.If its a beach,slippers would do. If its a sports date,wear sport shoes.
Perfume:Wear a simple perfume. Should not be too nausea tic or too pungent or strong. You don't want her to develop an allergy to your perfume.Just mild. Do not smell sweat.If you know you will sweat use appropriate deo.
Breath:Eat a mint.If you have bad breath problems or even if you don't,eat a mint.Even if you are not going to kiss.No one wants to know what do you ate before.
Clothes: Wear decent,clean clothes.Don't wear T-shirts with crazy/offensive quotes.Formals will do.Don't try something unusual that doesn't suit your personality.Don't wear plus sized shirts or baggy jeans.Don't wear shirts that are too tight even if you think you have got a chiseled body.Keep things to her imagination.A white or a black plain shirt are preferred.Don't go for huge horizontal striped shirt.Don't wear transparent or fluorescent colored,shiny or too bright shirts.Don't do pea-cocking on a date.She is already exclusively seeing you.Keep the top most one/two buttons of your shirt open so the shirt doesn't choke you.Tuck the shirt in neatly.No short shirts.You can fold the sleeves a bit if the shirt sleeves wrap too much near your wrist.
Hair: Clean washed hair. Don't put too much of oil.Don't try new hairstyles.Strictly no Justin Beiber even if she loves him.
Skin:If you are one of those men who let the dry skin wear off on its own then, believe me no one wants to see your skin flakes flying in the air.Its not romantic.Use a cold cream! And no dry lips too, even excessive Vitamin A inside your body doesn't justify it.
Accessories: Carry a handkerchief.You will probably need it.
Hygiene:Most important.Clean shave.Take a bath.Make sure your nails are clean and cut.No stinky shoes/socks/clothes.Don't ignore this.She would never forgive you if you fail at this.
-On a date
Keep your mobile on silent.Do not overindulge in your mobile.Its really rude even if your mobile is one of the best brands,the girl won't like the second priority.
Avoid picking calls or replying to messages.
Don't keep your accessories on the table unless and until your pockets can't manage them.Don't empty keys,handkerchief,wallet,mobile,chits,money on the table.Keep it in.
Show interest in what she is talking about.
Smile and nod when she is speaking,you want to look interested.Do not stare at her or her assets,you will make her uncomfortable.No one wants a psychopath or a pervert.
Skip staring at other chicks around.No matter how good you think you are in hiding it,she can make it out.
You probably shouldn't put that hand around her if you haven't reached that comfort zone.Don't be too touchy. She will feel uncomfortable and violated.
Pulling out her chair or opening the door for her are not old ways. It just shows you are a gentleman. No harm in being the nice guy.
Don't fight.Avoid topics where you will end up hitting each other.Sometimes its better to lose a fight just so to end the discussion.Cater to her ego.
Don't tell her about your past girlfriends or crushes. No one is interested. If she asks,skip the details.She wants to know but don't want you to speak of it as anything of any importance.
Don't ask too much personal questions and don't insist if she is not comfortable.She will eventually tell you all the secrets.Just not today.
PAY THE BILL!! She might ask to split or offer to pay but pay the bill if its the first date.You actually tell a woman you care by paying the bill.Don't just sit when the bill arrives but pay it right-way without even hoping or waiting for her to ask to split. She will insist but ask her to get it next time.
Do not say you had your food or you will have food when you go home.Never keep a woman hungry or thirsty. Order your own food or just order what she has ordered.Don't ask her to order for you,she is not your mom.
Do not criticize her order.If fries are unhealthy and she eats them,let her.She will work out,don't be her mom. If you are the one who loves fries,burger,coke and all the junk food in the world just think what message are you are sending across.
Don't overeat, you don't want to be drowsy.
Don't waste food,it shows you are a careless person who doesn't know how much to order.
Compliment her about her dress.She probably took a lot of time dressing up.Don't be angry if you don't receive a compliment back.DON'T CALL HER FAT.Keep those hurtful comments to yourself.Don't keep on praising her.Stop after a line.Just one line and that's it.
Don't talk about serious issues like marriage or commitment unless,she wants to talk about them.
Do not mourn on how your fate,parents,past affairs has been unfair to you.And how the whole universe has conspired to make things miserable for you.No one is interested.
If you are joking too much and she is trying real hard to smile.She is probably not from your genre of humor. Skip the next 5 jokes. Don't force her to laugh.She will think you are trying too hard to impress.
-Saying a goodbye
Make sure she goes home safely even if you don't like her.
Offer to ride her home or accompany her. If she says she will be fine, still join her. Its your duty to take care of the lady. She probably is an independent,strong woman to insist.
Every date doesn't end in a kiss so don't force yourself on her. You would end up with a sandal mark on your face than a lipstick mark.
Well that's all for now....HAPPY DATING! :)
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
The princess who loved a beggar
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess
in the palace of Beria. She was charming, young, passionate and a caring
woman. She was a master of fine arts and horse riding. So attractive
was her charm that princes from distant lands would come up to meet
her. They would sing poems about her beauty, their valor and their love
for her. They all wished to marry her. The princess would smile at the
chivalry but all the princess returned were with a few gifts. None of
the prince could intrigue her mind. They all felt the same to her. She
was longing for love but would not give in.
One day there was a mystery guest at her doors. He wasn’t dressed in silken robes, riding a horse or singing poems. He was a beggar dressed in rags and asking for alms in a coarse voice. The princess had never seen a beggar in her life. She looked down her window as the palace guards were tackling the man away. She invited the beggar in the palace out of curiosity and asked her maids to take care of the beggar. The beggar was given a bath and clean clothes to wear.
He asked the princess for a loaf of bread. The princess was surprised at this strange request. He didn’t ask her hand for marriage but just a loaf to eat. She wanted to know more about him so she sat next to him. He talked about distant lands, wars, merchants, magic and travel as he munched on the food. His stories intrigued her even more. He was a handsome young man, as old as the princess. His name was Aziz .He was not interested to praise the beauty of the princess or to win her hand, he was happy with the food and the shelter. The princess asked the beggar to stay in the palace.
Every day the princess and the beggar used to talk and spend hours together. Eventually the princess became fond of the beggar. She started believing in his stories and his way of life. When the beggar used to talk about leaving the palace and travel to north her heart sank at the thought. The princess soon wished to marry the beggar. She thought that she could train him to become one of the army general or give him some province to run just so that nobody points out finger at her for marrying a beggar. She talked about her plans while the beggar just nodded saying nothing. His silence was taken as an acceptance. But Aziz wasn’t interested to work. He was enjoying what he had. He didn’t have to go hungry for food now; he didn’t have to brave scorching sun and the rain. He had a shelter over his head and more than enough food to fill his pallet.
The princess’s high ambitions for him bothered him. He knew that she would soon impose him in some work. If he ever was interested in work he wouldn’t be begging in the first place. One day Aziz spoke his heart to the princess. He told her that he was a vagabond and won’t stay for long, his heart belonged to the place in north and not in the palace and he wouldn’t marry her. The princess was shaken by his talk, she never imagined that Aziz would leave her alone, she was hurt, tears rolled out of her eyes. She had done everything for him. She wondered what went wrong. She always hoped best for him. But Aziz was unyielding; he wouldn’t change for anyone. He was his own master, he thought to himself.
The princess now deeply in love with him believed that she could change his mind one day. One day he would change his ways and leave the adamancy behind. She was by now abandoned by most of her friends. They didn’t like to sit with the beggar around; his coarse ways were frowned down by them. But this wasn’t enough for the princess to abandon the beggar; she was hopelessly in love with the man by now. All she wanted to be by his side and no one else. It was long since the princes had already stopped coming by her doorstep. The beggar was all she had now. She was ready to surpass any limits to have him forever. But Aziz had now started feeling the burden of being over rated by the princess.
One day Aziz left the palace without a word. He knew she wouldn’t let him leave if he talked to her. This bewildered the princess who frantically searched him. She put all her men to search for Aziz. None of them found him, he was gone. The princess mourned in his absence. She was broken down, her heart cut to pieces, her love tarnished. She blamed herself for being too hard on him. Nothing seemed to console her. Days passed, months and years. She still hoped for him to return. She had by now abandoned her interests. Stayed alone, wailing for hours. Her face started wrinkling, her body was shrunken and her talents lost.
One day someone found him and brought him to her. She was delighted. It was the first time in years that her face burst into smile. She ran to the doors to receive him. He was standing there with a pale face. Aziz was now in rags the way he was found. He had returned back to where he came from. She looked at him and confessed her love for him, how she spent years for him to return and how she was sorry that she tried to enforce things on him. Aziz started scoffing in laughter at her plight. It was amusing for him to see how the princess wasted herself so much over him. At once he blurted out without a thought, “Silly princess” and left the palace with a grin.
One day there was a mystery guest at her doors. He wasn’t dressed in silken robes, riding a horse or singing poems. He was a beggar dressed in rags and asking for alms in a coarse voice. The princess had never seen a beggar in her life. She looked down her window as the palace guards were tackling the man away. She invited the beggar in the palace out of curiosity and asked her maids to take care of the beggar. The beggar was given a bath and clean clothes to wear.
He asked the princess for a loaf of bread. The princess was surprised at this strange request. He didn’t ask her hand for marriage but just a loaf to eat. She wanted to know more about him so she sat next to him. He talked about distant lands, wars, merchants, magic and travel as he munched on the food. His stories intrigued her even more. He was a handsome young man, as old as the princess. His name was Aziz .He was not interested to praise the beauty of the princess or to win her hand, he was happy with the food and the shelter. The princess asked the beggar to stay in the palace.
Every day the princess and the beggar used to talk and spend hours together. Eventually the princess became fond of the beggar. She started believing in his stories and his way of life. When the beggar used to talk about leaving the palace and travel to north her heart sank at the thought. The princess soon wished to marry the beggar. She thought that she could train him to become one of the army general or give him some province to run just so that nobody points out finger at her for marrying a beggar. She talked about her plans while the beggar just nodded saying nothing. His silence was taken as an acceptance. But Aziz wasn’t interested to work. He was enjoying what he had. He didn’t have to go hungry for food now; he didn’t have to brave scorching sun and the rain. He had a shelter over his head and more than enough food to fill his pallet.
The princess’s high ambitions for him bothered him. He knew that she would soon impose him in some work. If he ever was interested in work he wouldn’t be begging in the first place. One day Aziz spoke his heart to the princess. He told her that he was a vagabond and won’t stay for long, his heart belonged to the place in north and not in the palace and he wouldn’t marry her. The princess was shaken by his talk, she never imagined that Aziz would leave her alone, she was hurt, tears rolled out of her eyes. She had done everything for him. She wondered what went wrong. She always hoped best for him. But Aziz was unyielding; he wouldn’t change for anyone. He was his own master, he thought to himself.
The princess now deeply in love with him believed that she could change his mind one day. One day he would change his ways and leave the adamancy behind. She was by now abandoned by most of her friends. They didn’t like to sit with the beggar around; his coarse ways were frowned down by them. But this wasn’t enough for the princess to abandon the beggar; she was hopelessly in love with the man by now. All she wanted to be by his side and no one else. It was long since the princes had already stopped coming by her doorstep. The beggar was all she had now. She was ready to surpass any limits to have him forever. But Aziz had now started feeling the burden of being over rated by the princess.
One day Aziz left the palace without a word. He knew she wouldn’t let him leave if he talked to her. This bewildered the princess who frantically searched him. She put all her men to search for Aziz. None of them found him, he was gone. The princess mourned in his absence. She was broken down, her heart cut to pieces, her love tarnished. She blamed herself for being too hard on him. Nothing seemed to console her. Days passed, months and years. She still hoped for him to return. She had by now abandoned her interests. Stayed alone, wailing for hours. Her face started wrinkling, her body was shrunken and her talents lost.
One day someone found him and brought him to her. She was delighted. It was the first time in years that her face burst into smile. She ran to the doors to receive him. He was standing there with a pale face. Aziz was now in rags the way he was found. He had returned back to where he came from. She looked at him and confessed her love for him, how she spent years for him to return and how she was sorry that she tried to enforce things on him. Aziz started scoffing in laughter at her plight. It was amusing for him to see how the princess wasted herself so much over him. At once he blurted out without a thought, “Silly princess” and left the palace with a grin.
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